I am a song type of gal…

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And there is a song called Stole My Man. It has been on repeat for a while. The course goes

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"I'm so glad you stole my man
Girl, you took him off my hands
I can't, form a reason just to leave him
Thanks to you, I can
I can't wait to break the news
Tell my ma' I cut him loose
Life's a little sweeter, can't believe
It's all because of you"

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Life's a little sweeter can't believe its all because of you. Man, am I thrilled? No really, I am. It sucks, do not get me wrong. But I have weighed the pros and cons of my entire marital situation, and I think that the men in my ex’s life did me a favor. Now, maybe stealing is not the right word. Any man that can be so easily led astray is not a victim of theft, but of simply being pathetic. I have had a lot of anger for the men that have been a part of my marriage (really my whole relationship). Why? What is the attraction to someone in a heterosexual relationship? Well, against my will I did find that it is apparently a kinky thing that interests some people both gay and straight. Turning a straight married man gay is just…hot, and sleeping with a married man just gets a girl's blood pumping, I guess. Now, I am not usually one to kink shame, but maybe leave married couples out of that. Role-play that scenario. Please.

 

 Let’s be clear: My ex-husband was never mine. I thought he was, and even after I knew he wasn’t, I pretended he was. I knew from the moment that he asked me if he could go on a camping trip with his “new friend” right after being caught doing disturbing things with his “new friend”, it was a lost cause. Just because they banged it out, doesn’t mean they can’t go back to being just friends. I can picture it now “My wife said it was okay to hang out as long as it’s okay with your wife. And she said we cannot do sleepovers anymore.” What a beautiful life that could’ve been! Come on guys, you all should know this. I am thankful for the men that participated in my relationship because those same men will be the ones that drop my ex on his ass the moment anything inconvenient happens. Those will be the same men who show my lovely little lost lamb that the grass is not always greener. They will show him what it is to hurt emotionally. They will be the ones to leave him emotionally thirsty. They will make him question what his value is in life. He will never know if they are telling him the truth because he knows he never did. He will want to check their phones and ask "Where were you?" when they get home too late. Those are the men who will leave that funky feeling in the pit of his stomach because he knows that he will never be good enough for the men he destroyed his relationship for. Those are the same men who ruined their own marriages/relationships, and they need an echo chamber to convince themselves what they did was not wrong. Those are the same men who will not receive the love and care they crave in each other because that is what their wives were for. The bros are for banging and the wife is for emotional nourishment. How hard is it to just be honest? Fine, don't come out to the world, but you owe it to your significant other. They should be given the chance to leave you. They do not deserve to be cheated on because their spouse is confused about what they are into. 

 

They did not steal my man. My man was gone before he even met me. It is not a conqueror move to sleep with someone else’s husband. It is a very weird thing to be into. I am unsure who told these people that it was normal. Imagine after the lust is gone…doesn’t seem so hot anymore, does it? Now you have a married man in your best who does not add anything to your life except for a few exciting 20-minute rounds and weak excuses as to why they can't contribute a little money to breakfast the next morning. My question to these men is, was it worth it? Was it worth ruining what could have been a beautiful life for a few quickies? I am not saying that they needed to stay married and pretend that they were interested in women. That is what they were doing, with a side dish of, well, ya know. I am saying that they could have left us women alone. They could have had their fun without hurting others. I cannot imagine what the other wives have gone through emotionally. The ones that pretend it is “cool” because they do not want to lose the person, they imagined their husband to be. We may not tell them to their faces but thank GOD these slimy people came and snatched our husbands/boyfriends right out of our non-existent clutches. 

 

They win. Congrats. Now what? I have no clue about them. I know for me I went back to doing the things that I loved, without consulting someone who did not even want to be in the marriage in the first place. I went back to school, messed around, and finished with a few degrees. I  got an incredible job. I decided it would be cool to go to grad or law school and just might be able to do that. I went to therapy and figured out what was up with me, that I accepted my ex’s behavior for so long. If you are one of the slime guys reading this, what did you do? Did you get with someone else’s husband? Did you fall in love with mine? Have you gotten to lay in bed next to the man that you've chosen over your own wife? Have you had the privilege of being cheated on by the man you left your wife for instead of telling the truth? Do you lay in bed next to him and cry yourself to sleep wondering why you are not good enough for the person who did not even find their marriage (that they chose for themselves) satisfactory? Or did you realize that the little hole you have been trying to fill (no pun intended) is not going to be filled by snatching someone’s significant other (again no pun intended)? How pathetic of a person do you have to be?

 

Thank you.  I would not have the things I do and accomplished the things I have without you and him (and the rest of them). I wonder if they ever think about the way things could have been if they had been honest. I wonder if they know they could have had support systems and friends to help them through their fear of coming out. I wonder if they know that they chose the shittiest possible way to leave. Readers, they do not care. They do not care that they hurt you, they are just upset and possibly embarrassed that they got caught. How many of you had your significant other come to you and confess? Exactly. I am glad the struggle and tears led us to something better. We got our drive back. We needed a way to leave our sucky marriages, and thanks to the strange kinky men, we did.

 

- The Traumatized Bachelorette.